The revision process for me has greatly developed over the semester. When I started taking English 110 I barely edited my papers. My first draft was basically my final draft with some fixes to local issues. However this class forced me to learn to revise in order to actually do well on my papers. To start with I really developed my skills to write an introduction. On this particular project my intro to start, although it encompasses my claim and some evidence, needed a lot of work. I added further evidence and had to introduce that evidence. Towards the end of the intro I developed my claim much further, and made it known exactly where I stood on my argument and the evidence.

Throughout the paper I added and developed quotes from the scholarly articles to further my point, and especially edited the lead ups to quotes. In my first draft I made the mistake of not only using the articles wrong, but also sort of putting words in the writers mouths. In the final I edited this issue, and instead of giving my ideas to the authors I expressed them as my own. My organization along with these previous edits led towards using the articles more for my argument. What I mean by this is that in the first draft I spent a lot of time developing arguments without actually explaining my part in them. In the final I shifted evidence and arguments in order to make the argument my own.

For new paragraphs I mostly just added a new conclusion. My original conclusion was seriously lacking, and was missing large portions that would close off my arguments with a nice little bow. With that and local issues that I resolved as I reread, my paper fully came together into what you see in the final copy.

First Draft:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cHCYu7xm4020gipCEFDTFHsASFFS3f4DKPDZoCLsM2o/edit?usp=sharing

Final Draft:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OHrWQH8oApY882R-D3wbtrYJ8Hg0KiGbhJbtTVueuo8/edit?usp=sharing